Toble-ly Delicious Oatmeal Cookies

Sometimes I feel like I might be a heartless beast of a girl.
Let me give you an example.  I have an intense love affair with the combination of oats and chocolate.  Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are like love in its most pure and patty form.  But they need to be a certain way, you know?  Adding nuts is a good thing, but when you venture outside the tree nut or peanut butter category, you've gone too far, my friend.
It's a week before Christmas, and we're at my parents' house celebrating the holidays with my mom's side of the family.  Everything is all aglow with Christmas cheer and my relatives are all looking their finest.  Mom has this huge spread of appetizers out that include several cookie jars filled with goodies she's so sweetly and thoughtfully made for everyone to share.

Wait!  Mom!  How could you not tell me you made my favorite cookie!  Cousin Ashley and I were so excited about our discovery of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies on the table we couldn't wait to get our grubby little hands on them.
Chomp!  Chomp...  Chomp......
"Is there cinnamon in here?"
"Yes, do you like it?" Mom asks with a sweet and loving smile on her face.
I wrinkle my nose at the thought of cinnamon being introduced to what otherwise is the perfect combination. Mom stares at me as I (without an instant of hesitation) chunk the cookie from quite a distance and with a good degree of force into the nearby trashcan and reluctantly chew the soggy gob in my mouth.  Ashley and Mom stare at me in shock that I would act like such an evil spoiled brat on Christmas, and right in front of the person who made the cookie, no less.  What can I say, I am picky about my oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

Thankfully, despite my ogre-like qualities, Santa did not bring me coal at Christmas.  I got some great stuff, and some legit chocolate.  We're talking Toblerone.  That heavenly bar filled with nuances of honey, almonds and nougat.  Milk chocolate at its finest, in my opinion.  Unfortunately, perhaps my troll-ish behavior was just a warning sign that all those calories I packed on over the holidays were quiet literally making me troll-shaped.  Time to dispense with the Toblerones in the best way possible.  Time to make some cookies.  Without cinnamon.

Ignore the coffee ring and dot of hot sauce under the cutting board.  I wanted cookies RIGHT AFTER breakfast, okay?  It's oatmeal.  That's healthy, right?  Check out that Global Cook's Knife Jeremy got me for Christmas.  Yeah, baby.

Toblerone Chip Oatmeal Cookies
Inspired by Joy the Baker's Oatmeal Walnut Cocoa Nib Cookies
Makes about 2 dozen large cookies

2 sticks salted butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
1 scant cup Sugar in the Raw
1/8 c blackstrap molasses
2 large eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 c all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher or sea salt
2 1/2 c old fashioned oats
1 c. coarsely chopped toasted almonds
1/2 c semi sweet mini-morsels
1 cup chopped Toblerone bars (2 full size candy bars)

Preheat oven to 350 and line two baking sheets with parchment paper, or grease the baking sheets if you don't wish to use parchment.  Use a mixer to whip butter, sugar and molasses together until fluffy.  Add the eggs one at a time, blending well after each addition.  Add vanilla.  While that's working itself into a fluffy frenzy, find a medium bowl.  Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.  Add this flour mixture all at once to the butter mixture and keep mixing until it's just combined.  Stir in the oats, chocolate chips, toblerone that you haven't stuffed in your face yet, and almonds.  Keep mixing until your arm falls off everything is well combined.  If you have a melon baller (The toughest tool in the drawer that gets the most dough) or a small ice cream scoop, you can use this to measure out identical little cookie blobs to go on your cookie sheets.  Make sure your blobs don't touch and try to get them the same size.  I used a tablespoon to make rounded balls about the same size.  Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until cookies are light brown on top.      Let cool 5 minutes before transferring to cool on wire racks or just on the counter on parchment if you aren't lucky enough to have some spiffy wire racks.  That's how mellon baller and I roll.

Want to make new friends?!  Make ice cream sandwiches out of these cookies with chocolate, vanilla, and butter almond ice cream.  Scoop the ice cream after it has softened a bit and pop the assembled sandwiches in the freezer to firm up before transporting.  These cookies are just the right amount of sweet, salty, crunchy and chewy.  The Sugar in the Raw gives them and interesting little crunch, but if you prefer to swap the raw sugar and molasses for 1 cup packed brown sugar, that will totally work too.

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This Goat Cheese and Raspberry Stuffed Chicken Breast Wrapped in Proscuitto is NOT Playing Around.

When I woke up yesterday morning, I knew this was destined to become my dinner.  That rarely happens to me.  Often, I come home from work, boil some noodles and eat them with bottled pasta sauce and canned parmesan.  True story.  

But not this time.

Do you spy Sampson's butt?  

My good friend Jonna knows how much I enjoy cooking and got me an awesome spoon rest for Christmas as well as this Pampered Chef Raspberry Habanero Sauce.

The sauce was the inspiration for this dish.  I typically don't keep sauces around, so it was fun to dream up how to best use this one.
*If you don't have a sauce like this around, you could make something just as perfect for this dish by combining one small jar of seedless raspberry preserves with two tablespoons (or less depending on how hot you want it) chipotle in adobo sauce.  Perfectly sweet, smoky and spicy. The goat cheese is a great foil for the heat and makes everything all perfectly balanced and yum.

This dish is so simple, yet really elegant.  It reminds me of a grown up version of one of my favorite eats Mom and Dad used to make when I was growing up: cream cheese and chive stuffed chicken breast wrapped in bacon.  You can use the same method I'll outline below and switch up the ingredients to try this gem as well.  This is like the grown up version of my classic favorite.

Raspberry and Goat Cheese Stuffed Chicken with Prosciutto
3 or 4 medium chicken boneless, skinless chicken breasts
4 oz. plain soft goat cheese (chevre)
1/3 cup spicy raspberry sauce (see note above)
4 thin strips prosciutto
Salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste
Toothpicks (for securing bundles)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Take a chicken breast and pound it out till it is an even thickness and thin enough to wrap completely around the filling you will put inside.  I used my empty coconut oil jar because I'm a professional.

Note the smashed pieces of raw chicken on the side of the jar.  Keepin' it real.

Divide your goat cheese into thirds or quarters, depending on how many chicken breasts you have.  I had three, so I did thirds.  Put one third of the cheese in the center of the pounded chicken breast.  Spoon a third (or quarter) of the sauce over the goat cheese.

Wrap the chicken around the fillings and secure it together by piercing the two ends of the meat together with a toothpick.  You might be able to skip this step if it sticks together with little effort.  Be careful to remove the toothpicks after cooking so you don't impale the roof of you mouth and treat yourself to an emergency room visit.  Thanks.
Repeat the pounding, filling and sealing process with all your chicken breasts.  Wrap a sweet li'l blanket of prosciutto around each stuffed breast before placing them in a casserole dish.  If you want to use two pieces of prosciutto per chicken breast, congratulate yourself on having a beautiful mind.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.  I like a lot of pepper.

Place the stuffed and wrapped breasts in the oven for 20 minutes.  Flip.  Cook 20 more minutes on the other side until proscuitto is lightly browned and juices run clear.  This dish makes it's own gravy, kind of like Gravy Train Dog Food, but better, and totally meant for human consumption.  Eating it with rice to sop up the juices is a great idea.  In fact, it's the law.  I made a wild rice pilaf.

Wild Rice Pilaf
1/2 cup brown rice
1/2 cup wild rice
2 cups vegetable stock
1 Tbsp butter
1/2 yellow onion, diced
1 Tbsp garlic seasoning
Handful chopped parsely
1/4 bottle pilsner beer
2 tsp olive oil

Bring the rices, stock and butter to a boil.  Reduce to a simmer and cover.  Leave it alone for 50 minutes.  While that is working, saute your diced onion in the olive oil until translucent.  Add onion, garlic seasoning and beer to your rice during the last ten minutes or so of cooking.  Stir in parsley when ready to serve.

When your chicken is done, serve a piece over your rice and spoon some of that crazy good gravy over  both the rice and chicken.  You worked hard on dinner.  I give you permission to use bagged salad.  I sure did.

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Easy Southwest Casserole

Oh, Christmas?  Yeah, about that... I'm over it.  I was absolutely sick the whole time.  From Christmas Eve Eve straight up through my stuffed up face this morning.  While I absolutely adored spending time with family and friends, I am ready for a new year.

Yesterday was a weird day.  Second day back at work, the least sick I had been in several days, it started off fine.  Lunchtime.  Enter moodiness, indecision and a strong craving for Mexican food.  I got in my car for my lunch break and began aimlessly driving around town until I landed very close to my house at one of the best Mexican places around: La Vaquita II.  I ate this:

All of it.  Enchiladas Poblanas en Mole- one chicken, one cheese, and some raw onions to foul my breath up for the rest of the day.  It was amazeballs.  Picture this moment: stuffy nosed loner redhead sitting with her back to the rest of the happily chatting Spanish speakers eating in the restaurant, scarfing down a full plate while the fluorescent bulbs highlight my loner status as I stuff my face in front of the huge storefront window.    Sexy.

The thing about Mexican food, is I can never get enough.  Ever.  So naturally, it's what's for dinner.  Casserole is what happens when I think I don't have any groceries and I want to get rid of random leftovers.   It's also so easy that I barely had to pay dinner any attention so I could watch copious amounts of Deadliest Catch get some cleaning done.  You can vary the ingredients with whatever you have in your fridge.  Salsa was on sale for $0.74 last time I went to the grocery store, so this made for a super cheap meal.  If you have a few more ingredients a a couple more minutes, you can make this casserole that has a little more kick.  I am posting the recipe exactly as I made it, but please use whatever you have and don't make a special trip for these ingredients.  For crying out loud, I topped a casserole containing pork with vegan "cheese".  Totally delicious.

Easy Southwest Casserole

1 cup jasmine rice

2 cups water

generous pinch kosher salt

1 1/2 small jars medium salsa (you can sub canned tomatoes with green chilies in a pinch)

1/2 pound grilled pork tenderloin (or cooked meat of your choice/omit meat to make vegan)

1 can black beans, drained

3 good glugs Mexican hot sauce (I use Valentina or Cholula)

1 Tbsp garlic seasoning

1 cup vegan "cheese shreds" (or organic cheese)

Fat free greek yogurt and cilantro for serving

Preheat oven to 350.  Cook rice:  Bring rice and water to a boil. Add salt, reduce heat to low, and cover for 15 minutes.  

Dump one whole jar of salsa in with the rice.  Dump in can of beans.  Dice up your meat.  Dump it.  Stir.

Season to taste with garlic seasoning and fresh ground pepper if desired.  Glug in some hot sauce.  Glug, glug.  Isn't that such a satisfying sound?  Mmm hmm.

Spread your mixture in an even layer into a casserole dish.  Sprinkle "cheese" shreds over the top evenly.  If you have tortilla chips, by all means crush them over the top of the cheese.  Dollop your remaining salsa over the whole mess and pop it in the oven uncovered for 30 minutes, or until the cheese is bubbly and the casserole is heated through.  Serve topped with fat free greek yogurt (or sour cream) and torn fresh cilantro.   Go back for seconds.

Best when enjoyed in the company of someone you love and not under fluorescent lighting.

Ideas for variations- add or substitute the following:

Chorizo

Chopped grilled chicken

Tortilla chips

Pinto beans

canned black olives

canned or fresh jalapenos

Veg-all or mixture of frozen veggies/veggies in danger of dying an ugly death in your fridge

Chives or green onions

Salsa Verde

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Maple Nutmeg Butter Cookies

First of all, you should know that you can only make these cookies for people you love.  Because cookies that require chilling, rolling, and cookie cutters are only worth it for people you love.

That said, you should make these cookies.  You should make them on a night when you don't have a lot else going on, because they are going to take some time and you are going to make quite the mess, my little cookie queen (or king).

You should also be aware that when these cookies are implemented as a bargaining tool in a cookie exchange, they are both a blessing and a curse.
Blessing:  You get mad compliments.
Curse:  You don't want to give them away.  Blast, that buttery, maple goodness is so sneaky like that.

I found this recipe over at Smitten Kitchen.  This woman is the heat, no lie.  She has performed a great miracle and has achieved a lofty goal.  A goal that I aspire to.  This snazzy lady makes her living by literally rolling out of bed, cooking whatever she feels like at that particular juncture in time and blogging about it.  And she's worked hard to get there.  Rock on, Deb.  Live the dream.

Maple Nutmeg Butter Cookies
Ever-so-lightly adapted from Smitten Kitchen.

1 cup (2 sticks) salted butter, at room temperature (I used Plugra)
1 cup (200 grams) granulated sugar
1/2 cup maple syrup (Grade B makes for an explosion of maple flavor, but use Grade A in a pinch)
1 large egg yolk
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1 teaspoon kosher salt


You know what?  "They" say you should bake with unsalted butter.  I never do, probably never will.  I think it tastes more buttery with the salt, thank-you-very-much.  Do what you feel.

Use a stand mixer (if you have one and are obsessed with it like me) to combine butter and sugar with the paddle attachment until fluffy.  Add egg yolk.  Drizzle in maple syrup.  Lick cup measure. What?  Sorry.
In a separate bowl, stir together flour, salt and nutmeg.  Add flour mixture into butter mixture, just until combined.  Divide your crumbly dough into 4 balls, wrap each in plastic wrap, chill in the fridge for at least two hours, or overnight.  Don't skip this step even though you're tempted.  I have skipped this step a million and a half times, and then I pout about why I can't roll out my dough and make pretty shapes.  Cry baby.

Preheat your oven to 350 and line at least a couple baking sheets with parchment paper.  If you use wax paper instead, you'll set your ever-loving house on fire.  True story.

Flour your very clean counter top or kitchen table with a handful of flour.  Keep the flour handy so the dough doesn't stick to the table, your hands, or your rolling pin.  Yes, you're going to need a rolling pin.  Don't have one?  Use an empty wine bottle, you lush.  Take one of your four doughballs out of the fridge.  Unwrap.  Plop in flour.  Beat the living daylights out of it with your rolling pin until it sweetly submits.  Roll out your dough about 1/8 inch thick and cut fun little shapes out.  If you don't have cookie cutters you are a terribly boring person, you can use the mouth of a jar to cut perfect little circles.  Cut cookies go on the parchment and into the oven for 8 minutes.  For smaller cookies, watch them and maybe take them out at 7 minutes, depending on how browned you want your cookies.  Ball up your dough scraps and wrap them and refrigerate them for after you have used up your initial dough balls.  When your cookies are done, remove the batch from the oven and slide the whole sheet of parchment and cookies off the pan so your pan can cool and be reused for another batch.  If you have cooling racks, use them now.  If you are like me and you don't have cooling racks, ask for some for Christmas.

Confession time.  I got so sick of all that leftover dough (that I had already worked and thus was more pliable than I wanted) I threw out at least a handful of it at the end.  By the Beard of Zeus, I already had like 5 dozen cookies!  Remember, there's no judgement here.  I won't tell the baking police, I promise.  Take that last batch out of the oven, clean your flour coated kitchen filled with destruction and cookies, and go have a glass of eggnog with a cookie.  You deserve it.

And how did that cookie exchange go?  I think I came out on top with some pretty good loot (and some of my leftover maple cookies I secretly hoarded).

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Homemade Blue Cheese Dressing: A Tale of Love and Funk

I like to eat fowl smelling things.  So sue me.
Tempt me with some anchovies, oh yesss.  Woo me with your deviled eggs and I'm yours.  Tease me with your Gorgonzola, Roquefort and Cambembert, and I'm at your mercy.
When it comes to stinky, indulgent delight, it's hard to beat homemade blue cheese dressing.  My dad started this new-ish tradition for our Christmas gathering on my mom's side.  Instead of turkey, ham or more traditional holiday fare, we go for the gusto with some variation of grilled beef (standing rib roast this year), shrimp, and salad with homemade blue cheese dressing.  I look forward to all of it every year, but especially that blue cheese.  Let's make it a tradition for you too.

Homemade Blue Cheese Dressing
1 medium wedge danish blue cheese
1 cup mayonnaise (I use Dukes because I'm Southern through and through)
1 1/2 cup fat free greek yogurt (so we can have some dessert too)
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbsp Rice Wine Vinegar
1 good dashes hot sauce
1 scant Tbsp mustard (I used horseradish dijon, don't use yellow mustard)
1.5 tsp garlic seasoning
Juice of 1 lemon half
1/2 tsp fresh ground black pepper
Kosher salt to taste

In a large bowl, combine mayo with yogurt.  Crumble in your blue cheese, slicing it if you need to in order to make crumbling easier.  Use a spoon to stir in the cheese and break it up into smaller pieces.  We're going for big chunks and small crumbles for flavor and texture.  Stir in the rest of the ingredients and adjust seasonings to taste.  If you want to add a dash of cayenne, we could totally be best friends.  Let this sit in the fridge for at least four hours, but preferably overnight so the flavors can get to know one another.  You did it!  Congrats!

This dressing makes the simplest of salads amazing and satisfying.  Thanks, fat.  I love how you do that.  Now that I ate that for lunch, don't you think it's okay if I eat like four of the Maple Nutmeg Butter Cookies I am making for tomorrow's cookie exchange?  Too late, I already did.
More on that story... after the break.

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Eggnog Tiramisu and Sunday in Pictures

Eggnog Tiramisu loves you.

I made this for you.  Okay, so I really made it for our family Christmas gathering on my mom's side, but I totally thought of you while making it.  And the best part- it's so simple to make, yet totally elegant!  Eggnog and Tiramisu become their best selves when the two become one.  But more on that later.  Here's how yesterday looked:

Family coziness

We obviously know how to tear into some delicious appetizers.  Mmm.  Shrimp.

Ian made his signature mashed potatoes with goat cheese and rosemary, which were stunning.  Watch him work.

Dad was the star of the show with his succulent (ew! I can't believe I just used that word) standing rib roast grilled masterfully on his Weber Kettle Grill.

Juicy Vittles

Fire pit for keeping roasty toasty while sipping a hot toddy.

Today's hot toddy of choice was spiced cider with black spiced rum.  Speaking of rum, you're gonna need some to make this killer dessert.

Eggnog Tiramisu
Custard
3 large eggs, lightly beaten
3 cups organic whole milk
3 Tbsp cornstarch
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
2 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
1/2 cup sugar
2 Tbsp butter

Espresso Soak
1/2 cup black spiced rum (The Kraken is what I used.  My favorite!)
3 Tbsp espresso powder
1/4 cup water
1/3 cup sugar

1 package almond cookies, crushed
1 handful Slivered or chopped almonds (optional)
1 whole angel food cake (you could sub out lady fingers if you so desire)

Whipped Cream
1 pint heavy whipping cream
1/3 cup sugar
1/4 cup frangelico (hazelnut liquor)
1 tsp vanilla

This looks like a lot of ingredients, but it's actually really simple and all about layering.  Promise.  Let's start by making pudding from scratch.  This is one of the first things I really remember making by myself and being proud of.  I was thirteen-ish?  My mom had this checkered Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook (your mom probably has one too) and it made pudding from scratch pretty simple business.  If you leave the nutmeg out of this eggnog custard, BAM!  You have vanilla pudding.  Don't buy Jello.  I love you too much to let that happen to you ever again.
Custard
In a heavy bottomed saucepan, combine milk and sugar over medium heat.  In a separate small container, stir in a little milk from the pan into the cornstarch until there are no lumps.  Pour it all back in the pan.  Stir frequently until the milk is "scalded."  This means there will be little bubbles all around the edges where the milk touches the pan, and it will smell cooked.  In the meantime, crack and lightly beat your eggs in a bowl.  Keep at the ready. When your milk is scalded, remove the pan from the heat.  Add a few tablespoons of the hot milk mixture in a slow and steady stream into your eggs.  Beat continuously while doing this.  We're just bringing the eggs up to temperature so they don't curdle when we put them in the milk.  After you've incorporated a little of the milk into the eggs, slowly pour a steady stream of the egg mixture into the pan with the milk, mixing continuously to avoid curdling.  This is called tempering your eggs.  No biggie.
Cook for two to three minutes more over medium heat while stirring.  When the mixture has thickened into a loose pudding consistency, remove from the heat.  Stir in vanilla and butter until melted it.  Glossy, no?  Grate in your nutmeg and stir.  Set aside.  Try not to eat the whole batch.  But definitely eat some!  You could stop here and have a comforting and delicious dessert to eat alone, or serve company in some fancy glasses with a ginger snap on the side.

Eggnog Custard

Assembly
Make your espresso soak first.  Combine water, rum (or liquor of your choice), sugar, and espresso powder in a container that is easy to pour stuff out of.  Whisk until sugar dissolves.  In the serving bowl you'll be using to present your lovely dish (I used a large clear bowl so folks could see my luscious layers), line the bottom of the dish with some chunks of angel food cake.  We're talking a layer maybe an inch thick of cake on the bottom.  Drizzle half your espresso soak over the cake so it soaks it up.  It's okay if it's not even steven.  Those juices will sink in and redistribute.  Spread half your eggnog custard over the now very brown cake layer.  Sprinkle 1/3 of your crushed cookies over custard layer.  Repeat: cake, espresso soak, custard, cookies.  Time to make the whipped cream.  (Most fun step?)
Whipped Cream Topping
In a cold, clean bowl, use a hand mixer or stand mixer to whip the whole pint of whipping cream into soft peaks.  Add your liquor, vanilla, and sugar.  Whip to stiff peaks.  I like to use my immersion blender with the whisk attachment for making whipped cream.  It literally takes seconds and makes me stand in wonder like a five year old how it magically makes whipped cream happen so fast.  Taste to make sure it's sweet enough for your liking, but don't make it too terribly sweet.  That's part of the elegance of this dessert, is the perfect amount of sweetness complimenting each layer.  Spread the whole lot of it over your layered creation.  Top with the remaining 1/3 of your crushed cookies, and with your handful of crushed or slivered almonds if you choose to use them.  Let this sit overnight or at least for several hours while the flavors marry and the custard soaks and sets the dessert.  Scoop or slice and serve.

Once more, just to tempt you to make this baby

About this dessert
I have to take a minute to tell you I am super proud of this one.  I was inspired by a vegan recipe for Pumpkin Tiramisu and thought the seasonal flavor twist was brilliant.  But I wasn't all about combining chocolate with pumpkin for some reason.  When I thought about eggnog and espresso playing off one another with crunchy almonds, I had to make it and find out if this crazy combo would work.  I can't wait to make it again.  Whether you make the custard or go all the way with the Tiramisu, I hope you'll let me know how it turns out.  Merry Christmas in your mouth.

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Meaty Minestrone with Beet Greens: It'll Cure What Ails Ye

Been in a funk.
Know what I mean?  I mean come hope so slap worn out that you eat Chinese take-out two nights in a row.  Not something you want to really pontificate about on your food blog, right?  It happens.

But, HARK!  Soup can help bring one out of the funkiest of funks, and it's good for warding off those nasty little snot viruses popping up from here to kingdom come.  So I made some, and so should you.
The good news?  This soup is so good for you and so easy.  The bad news?  I scarfed it down so eagerly that I forgot to take a picture.  Good thing there are leftovers I can show you later.

Here's a few good rules for cooking up soups and stirring your brew:

1.  Use your favorite big pot, preferably one that has a heavy bottom.
2.  When in doubt, a little booze makes it better.
3.  Always, always use a wooden spoon

I'm so serious about this.

Ingredients
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
3 links hot turkey italian sausage, removed from casing
2 quarts homemade turkey or chicken stock (or boxed if you don't have homemade stock)
1 large yellow onion, diced
5 cloves garlic, minced
1/3 bottle beer (lager or ale works great)
1 tsp cayenne pepper, or to taste
1 jar whole roasted red pepper/pimiento in its packing water, diced
1 can white beans
1 large can crushed canned tomatoes with basil
2 cups dried pasta noodles (small shapes like twists or elbows)
2 monstrous handfuls of chopped beet greens or baby spinach
2 tsp dried basil
2 bay leaves
3 tsp garlic seasoning blend (or just 2 tsp garlic powder if you don't have some sort of blend)
2 tsp kosher salt, or to taste
black pepper to taste

In your large pot over medium heat, add olive oil.  Add onions and garlic.  Stir so they don't brown, but just start to become translucent.  Add your meat.  Drain grease after it cooks out a bit.  Keep stirring with that wooden spoon.  You can add mushrooms here if you wanna be like that.  Totally up to you.
Cook onion, garlic and meat mixture until you start to see a little browning starting to happen on the bottom of the pot.  This is where all the magic soup flavor comes from, so don't be scared to let this happen.  Once you've got a few little brown bits and smudges going on, you're going to need some help scraping up that stuff and incorporating it into the mix.  Enter beer.  It's so multi-talented, no?  Pour about a third of a beer in the mix, and use some elbow grease to get those bits up and into the mix while the beer cooks down.

Bad picture, good beer.

The alcohol will cook out and leave you with intensified yum flavor.  When the beer has reduced, stir in the can of tomatoes.  This will definitely stop all your browning and give you a minute to drain your beans and dice up the contents of that jar of pimiento.  I use the Goya brand because it's cheap, easy to find, and tasty.

Add in your pimiento and drained beans.  You should have some thick looking stew on your hands.  Good job!  Add cayenne, bay leaves, basil, and garlic seasoning.  If you don't have a seasoning blend you use, you really should try a few.  It can be such an amazing secret weapon in your soups, sauces, or whatever.  My weapon of choice comes from Costco in a giant container.  I don't think it can be beat.
Wait for it....

Wait for it...

BOOM.

It says "spread" on the bottle, but it's a powder.  I use it as a seasoning, but I'm sure if you make it into a spread it's bangin'.

Add your stock and your pasta and let it simmer until the pasta is tender.  Stir in your beet greens until they are wilted and well incorporated.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.  Serve topped with grated Parmesan cheese and croutons if you must.  Bring some to your mom if she's sick.

This soup looks like a lot of ingredients, but it actually comes together pretty quickly and makes a heap of soup.  I'm sure it's even better the next day with a grilled cheese faithfully by its side.  I'll take one for the team and test this hypothesis for dinner.

So long funk!  Hello, cozy.

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